25 September 2008

The Perfect Happy Happy Birthday Song!

Sent to me by my excellent colleague "Bad" Andy Abdelmalek.

"The Happy Happy Birthday Song" by The Arrogant Worms.

Click below to play the video and sing along with the lyrics below:

Once a year we celebrate
With stupid hats and plastic plates
The fact that you were able to make
Another trip around the sun

And the whole clan gathers round
And gifts and laughter do abound
And we let out a joyful sound
And sing that stupid song

Happy birthday!
Now you're one year older!
Happy birthday!
Your life still isn't over!
Happy birthday!
You did not accomplish much
But you didn't die this year
I guess that's good enough

So let's drink to your fading health
And hope you don't remind yourself
The chance of finding fame and wealth
Decrease with every year

Does it feel like you're doing laps
And eating food and taking naps
And hoping that someday perhaps
Your life will hold some cheer?

Happy birthday!
What have you done that matters?
Happy birthday!
You're starting to get fatter
Happy birthday!
It's downhill from now on
Try not to remind yourself
Your best years are all gone

If cryogenics were all free
Then you could live like Walt Disney
And live for all eternity
Inside a block of ice

But instead your time is set
This is the only life you get
And though it hasn't ended yet
Sometimes you wish it might

Happy birthday!
You wish you had more money
Happy birthday!
Your life's so sad it's funny
Happy birthday!
How much more can you take?
But your friends are hungry
So just cut the stupid cake

Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday, dear...


The Arrogant Worms Official Website

Leave It To Mae West...

...to have the perfect quote for a birthday!

You're never too old to become younger.

- Mae West

Wait, It Must Be My Birthday...

...because I was cruising along at very high speeds (the traffic was in the other direction for once) and suddenly noticed a cop car right behind me, oh no...

...when he flashed his headlights, oh no...

...so I moved over one lane, oh no...

...and the cop just sped past me...

...he was just tailgating me!

Something worked out in my favor?!

Wow, it must be my birthday!

Wait, It Must Be My Birthday...

...because I heard about this horrible accident on the 405 backing traffic up for miles on the way to work this morning...

...and it turned out to be the 405 North.

Something worked out in my favor?!

Wow, it must be my birthday!

At My Age...

...there's nothing happy about a birthday!

07 September 2008

Jeez Fellas, Get A Room!

Yo, Samit Patel, I know that Kevin Pietersen suddenly turned into Captain Fantastic, but really, don't look that adoringly at him in front of everyone!

The Lovely English Summer

Wait a way to spend a beautiful English summer day at Lord's.

All We Won Was A Suzuki?!

Really, they couldn't have thrown in a Hyundai, or even a Kia?

We came from behind to beat Sri Lanka and all we got was a lousy Suzuki?!

Why So Glum Chum?

Dude, Dhoni, lighten up man, after all you are the shining white knight of Indian Cricket.

Now let's see if we can work on that "fatigue" factor and have you show up when things aren't going well (i.e. during Test matches).

Sheesh, Looks Like Me When I Played Cricket

Embarrassing, right through the gate, middle wicket. Brings back many memories, not of the terribly good kind.

Yes Australia Is That Scary

Poor Bangladeshi batsman Tamim Iqbal, he realizes that the only way to deal with Australia is just to throw your hands in the air, literally...

A Scot Is Raining On My Parade?!

Dude, Andy Murray, who knew?

If Rafa isn't careful we may not get that dream final after all.

06 September 2008

Who's That Looking Over My Shoulder?

All right Rog, you did your bit, but Rafa is right there, looking over your shoulder, itching to take you down.

Rog turned it on late to beat a surprisingly dispirited Nole (i.e. Novak Djokovic) in what was promising to be a tight semi-final (I like Nole, but man he needs to go all the way to the end if he's really going to make a push for the Top 2 spots). Rog seemed a bit emotional in his post-match on-court interview with Mary Joe Fernandez, but graciously said that he wanted the winner of the Rafa - Murray match to make it through quickly so the conditions would be fair for both players in the Finals.

Then, he was asked the obligatory question about which he opponent he preferred in the Finals. Most people give the usual cliched answer, but Rog stepped up and asked for Rafa.

That's right, the man who's proven to be his own personal kryptonite.

Rog went out on a limb and asked for him specifically, by name, knowing what was at stake for himself, for Tennis, for sports.

In the words of Heath Ledger's Joker:

Here we go...

Remember When...

...Pete and Andre (back when first names were all that were needed to identify tennis players to the general public) played that amazing US Open Finals back in 2002 and Pete established himself (in retrospect given Roger Federer's struggles of late) as not only the greatest tennis player of all time, but one of the greatest sportsmen of all time (even if I personally was never a big fan)?

The good ol' days...


ESPN: Sampras Ends Drought in Classic

04 September 2008

An Indian Movie With Oscar Buzz...Directed By A Brit!

Don't look now, but there's an Indian movie coming out of the Telluride Film Festival that is getting tons of (Oscar) buzz.

It was handed off to Fox Searchlight from the hapless Warner Independent Pictures, which means that it might just turn into another Little Miss Sunshine or Juno.

It's a crowd-pleasing, common-man-coming-up-from-the-streets Horatio Alger-type tale.

And naturally, it's made by a white British director, Danny Boyle.

And naturally, since it's a movie set in India made by non-Indians, it has the great Irrfan Khan in it (an apparent requirement that I am very happy about). I am hoping that long-time Bollywood great Anil Kapoor can parlay his role into similar ubiquity.

And naturally, since it's such a hit with film festival critics out here in the West, it's got to have some connection to slums/brothels/poverty/caste/pick-your-hoary-negative-Indian-cliche-here.

The movie is called Slumdog Millionaire (apparently Born Into Brothels was already taken).

It's based on a novel by Vikas Swarup called Q & A, but naturally an Indian movie without "slum" or "brothel" in the title is never going to be taken seriously by Western movie audiences.

Look, I am happy for this movie and happy for the great Danny Boyle. I'm sure he's hoping that this bit of flashy, easily digestible exoticism will do for his career what City of God did for Fernando Meirelles.

I'm just a little bitter that again it's a very specific side of India that gets showcased out here in the West. India's cinematic self-image (as evidenced by Bollywood films) and it's outside cinematic image are so vastly different that it is a little deflating to know that no matter how powerful the Indian economy is, or how ascendant India's position in the world becomes, the West will continue to impose a very specific prism though which to view the country.

Okay, fine, I confess.

Look, the truth is I'm jealous okay?

Here I am twiddling my thumbs getting fat (literally) with my cushy American lifestyle, working at a dead-end corporate job (albeit with lots of nice little perks), watching my fast-fading youth disappear in front of my eyes and a Brit goes all the way to India and makes a crackerjack movie, a crackerjack Indian movie.

I hate you Danny Boyle, you magnificent bastard!


"[T]akes us to a level that tops the Rockies for heightened experience.

"There's never been anything like this densely detailed phantasmagoria -- groundbreaking in substance, d*mned near earth-shaking in style.

"Mr. Boyle and his colleagues...have pulled off a soaring, crowd-pleasing fantasy."
Joe Morgenstern, The Wall Street Journal

"In terms of new titles and industry excitement, the runaway smash was Danny Boyle’s exhilarating, madly entertaining drama.

"Driven by fantastic energy and a torrent of vivid images of India old and new, 'Slumdog Millionaire' is a blast."
Todd McCarthy, Variety

"Don't be surprised if the new year rolls around and we're talking about Oscar noms and significant box office for 'Slumdog.'

"Like their studio brethren, the specialty world could find that in a tough year, they, too, have Indians coming to the rescue."
Steven Zeitchik, Variety

"There's sadness and tragedy within Slumdog Millionaire...but there's humor, humanity and dignity as well.

"Boyle, stepping outside the UK to focus his lens on India, seems to have freed himself here to bring his brilliance as a director to its fullest fruition.

"He's made a joyous, fun, and wonderfully accessible film."
Kim Voynar, Cinematical


IMDB: Slumdog Millionaire
Variety Review
WSJ Review
Cinematical Review
Amazon: Q & A

This Is What Inevitability Looks Like

All right Roger, first get past Djokovic and then get your head right.

Rafa is going to fight all the way to the bitter, bitter end.

It Takes Five Skywriting Airplanes To Make A Hit Show

Dude, I can't believe it.

90210 (you know the remake of the seminal Beverly Hills, 90210) was a huge hit for The CW.

It was the highest-rated series debut ever for The CW, pulling in almost 5 million viewers.

Somewhere my sister is smiling.

Looks like those five polluting sky-writin' airplanes weren't quite the wasteful un-green marketing effort I thought they were.

02 September 2008

Why So Happy?

Rog, the mystique is gone (as evidenced by that brutal five-set win over Igor Andreev today).

From now on you're going to have to achieve sports immortality the old fashioned way, you'll have to earn it.

God be with you my friend, I for one will be rooting for you all the way.

Chris And Emily Swimming With The Fishes

So, my colleague Chris and his wife Emily decided to go for a swim the other day.

They took this lovely little photo.

Seems reasonable enough until you notice something way up in the corner, in the upper left-hand side, it almost looks like a...

...a shark!

Are you effing kidding me? A shark?! An effing shark?! Holy mother of God!

All right fine, so Chris and Emily actually did this purposely. They actually went to the Downtown Aquarium in Denver, CO and paid good money to go scuba diving into a tank full of sharks.

Why? Why would you pay money to willingly go diving in an enclosed tank full of nature's perfect predators? I mean, it's not like you can swim away into the wide open ocean, you're in a tank for God's sake.

A tank...full of sharks!

That's the problem with the thin air up there in the Mile High City, it starts to slowly kill off your brain cells.



Chris Blog: Diving with the Sharks